Harriet Connor Author

Here’s what people are saying about Big Picture Parents:

“This is such a calming, ‘phew!’ kind of a book – highly recommended for anyone, but especially if the day-to-day challenges of parenting are stressing you out right now. Harriet is a gifted Bible teacher, and her careful reflections, rooted in everyday life, will bring peace and hope to any family situation.”

–Lucy Rycroft

“Big Picture Parents isn’t another how-to book that leaves you overwhelmed and discouraged (thank goodness). Instead, it reminds you of the bigger story God has written for you and your family, which is so easy to forget in the midst of life’s craziness. I found it super helpful and encouraging. You should seriously check it out. .”

–Jennifer Phillips

Why not get reading?!

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How to navigate Halloween

By Harriet Connor

On 31/10/2026

In Articles

It’s that time of year again! When Christian kids start asking ‘Can we do Halloween?’ and Christian parents can’t decide—or agree—on how to answer.

I have to confess that my views on Halloween keep changing and developing with the years. And whenever I do venture to publish some thoughts on the topic, sincere Christians suggest that I’ve got it wrong.

So, how can Christian parents work out what to think and say when Halloween rolls around each year? Here are some different perspectives and resources to consider.

A gracious approach

Last year, Cass Backhouse offered a helpful ‘Halloween heart check’ encouraging us with seven biblical principles to help Christians think the issue through with conviction and grace. She rightly observed that Bible-believing Christians will come to different opinions, and, in the spirit of Romans 14, we need to respect one another’s decisions without accusing others of being spiritually immature.

Halloween’s Christian(ish) origins

Some people emphasise the pagan predecessor of Halloween, Samhain (pronounced ‘sow-in’)—a Celtic festival marking the transition from harvest time to winter (in the northern hemisphere). This was a ‘liminal’ festival, when it was believed that the boundary between the physical and spiritual realms became thin and the spirits of the dead would revisit their homes.

However, the Christian festival of All Saints Day, preceded by ‘All Hallows’ Eve’, also has a long history, dating back to the late 300s. This day celebrated the victory of the saints, especially Christian martyrs, in union with Christ and included honouring and (before the Reformation) praying for the dead. During the eighth century Pope Gregory moved the date of this festival to November 1, and it subsequently became a major Christian holiday.

Many of the traditions of Halloween, such as ‘trick or treating’, probably trace their origins back to this Christian festival, rather than anything pagan. In an interview with Undeceptions podcast, folklorist Dr Frances Young explains that our knowledge of pagan or pre-Christian practices is limited, and we should be wary of assuming that all surviving ‘folk’ practices have pagan origins. He describes how most of the Halloween traditions, such as carving jack-o-lanterns, started in Ireland and were brought to America by Irish immigrants.

Martin Luther chose the date of All Hallows’ Eve to post his ‘95 Theses’ to the church door in Wittenberg (the church was called All Saints), which marked the start of the Protestant Reformation. The date would eventually become Reformation Day—something that some churches and families choose to focus on in place of Halloween.

Some Christians, such as James B. Jordan, believe that Christian Halloween traditions were a way of ‘mocking’ of the Devil. He explains it like this:

‘The concept, as dramatised in Christian custom, is quite simple: On October 31, the demonic realm tries one last time to achieve victory, but is banished by the joy of the Kingdom. What is the means by which the demonic realm is vanquished? In a word: mockery. Satan’s great sin (and our great sin) is pride. Thus, to drive Satan from us we ridicule him … because he has lost the battle with Jesus and he no longer has power over us.’

This approach to Halloween—as a way of mocking the defeated forces of darkness—is also cleverly expressed in SpeakLife’s evangelistic video, ‘Halloween: Trick or Treat?’.

Christians who emphasise this Christian meaning of Halloween may feel that they and their children can participate in good conscience.

However, for many Christians, Halloween’s Christian(ish) origins aren’t enough to redeem the festival. That’s because they are more concerned with how Halloween is actually celebrated today.

Literacy, books and reading—beyond Book Week

By Harriet Connor

On 21/09/2026

In Recordings

Parents around Australia have just recovered from Book Week—that much-anticipated educational event … which requires us to source at least one costume per child per year. Some families love the chance to get creative, while others groan at the mere mention of a costume parade.

Whatever we think about Book Week, our children’s schools seem to make a big deal of reading. And they are always talking about this thing called ‘literacy’! So what does literacy actually mean? And why is it so important?

In this episode of Timeless Parenting, we had a great chat with Kat Ashton Israel, early childhood educator, mother-of-five and contributor to Parenting in God’s Family, about the importance of literacy, books and reading for our children.

We discussed questions like:

What is literacy and why is it important?
Why should Christian parents care about literacy?
What are some everyday ways to foster pre-literacy in our babies and toddlers?
How can we help to prepare our preschoolers for starting school?
What if our children struggle to learn to read?
How can we encourage a reluctant reader?
How can we find good books for our avid readers?

This conversation is full of insights and practical suggestions and is sure to reassure and encourage parents of children of all ages.

You can also find our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and other platforms.

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Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

Learning about Christian fatherhood

By Harriet Connor

On 03/09/2026

In Recordings

Modern dads can sometimes feel confused about fatherhood. The role models and patterns of family life that they experienced growing up may not have been ideal, but perhaps they aren’t sure how to do things differently. They want to be more involved with their kids, but sometimes lack the confidence. Christian dads also want to be spiritual leaders in their home, but they aren’t always around as much as they would like to be.

In this episode of Timeless Parenting, we spoke to two Christian fathers about the lessons they have learnt along the way. Andrew Horsfield is a father of three adult sons and Dan Connor (my husband!) has four sons aged 16 down to five.

They shared honestly about:

the role confusion facing modern fathers
how understanding God’s fatherhood can help
the unique role that Christian dads can play
how dads can gain confidence in caring for their children
how mums can support dads’ involvement with their kids
how Christian dads can encourage one other
how to manage when your own dad was not a perfect role model
how to manage when you feel you have failed.

This conversation will be hugely encouraging for all dads, whether they are just starting out or further down the track. Mums will also benefit from listening to the perspective of these Christian dads.

—

You can also find our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and other platforms.

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Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media, and Mothers Union Sydney.

God’s plans for my kids are better than mine

By Harriet Connor

On 22/08/2026

In Articles

[Subscribers: I sent the last post without a title! Oops. To catch up on that article, ‘How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?’, read it here on my website.]

Towards the end of last term, I sat in a meeting with our youngest child’s Kindergarten teacher and the Infants Learning Support leader. They had called me in to explain that our son is not keeping up with his peers in literacy and numeracy and needs one-to-one support much of the time. At the meeting we agreed on a plan for our son to continue receiving intensive support for the next six months. After that we may be able to investigate whether or not he has an underlying learning difficulty.

This was not my plan for our son’s first year of school! I assumed that he would follow in his three brothers’ footsteps—learning to read and do maths for the sheer joy of the challenge and grasping new ideas with curiosity and delight. In our family, we love to read! In our family, we love to learn!

In the meeting, I tried not to despair as I faced the real possibility that our youngest son might find learning difficult for another 11 and a half years of schooling.

The following week, I was challenged about the plans I had for our eldest son too. He’s in Year 11 and had recently been through the process of applying to be a school prefect. I think he’s a wonderful young man with a lot to offer. He’s demonstrated leadership qualities in other contexts and is a very patient and encouraging older brother. He’s got involved in various aspects of school life and genuinely loves his school.

To be honest, I had taken it for granted that our son would be chosen as a prefect. But here’s the thing—he wasn’t. And I don’t know who was more disappointed—him or me.

This was not my plan for our son’s final years of school! I assumed that he would get to experience the responsibility and privilege of being a school prefect, just as I had. In our family, we are natural leaders!

A prayer that lifted my eyes

At the end of the meeting I had with our youngest son’s teacher, he offered to pray for our son. I was overcome with gratitude for a teacher who cared enough about our son not only to teach him, but also to pray for him. And God used that teacher’s prayer to lift my eyes and see things from God’s perspective. It went something like this:

Thank you, God, for the gifts and talents that you have given T. including his fun personality and outgoing nature. Thank you for the man you are forming him to be. We lift T. up to you and ask that you would continue to equip him for the good things that you have prepared for him to do in life. Please help us to know how best to support him in this. Amen.

This prayer reminded me that God’s plans for my children are bigger—and better—than mine. According to my narrow plans, I expect that my children will be natural learners or natural leaders; I think about the kind of jobs I hope they might do when they grow up; I expect them to like the same things that I like and be good at the same things I’m good at. I also fall into the trap of expecting my children to be similar to their siblings. I’ve realised that I have a fairly set expectation about what people will be like ‘in our family’.

Perhaps this is a natural tendency for most parents. Based on our own personalities and giftings, we think of our family as ‘academic’, ‘musical’, ‘sporty’, ‘social’, ‘creative’, ‘adventurous’, ‘relaxed’ and so on. But what if our children don’t fit this mould? What if they are not good at the things we highly prize?

How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?

By Harriet Connor

On 30/07/2026

In Articles

Our five-year-old son loves dinosaurs. Our older sons all went through a dinosaur phase, but they were never quite as obsessive. Until recently, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, our youngest would reply, ‘A triceratops!’. Since we’ve finally convinced him that won’t be possible, he’s started saying ‘archaeologist’ instead!

As I read our son the endless succession of library books about dinosaurs that he brings home, I’ve started to wonder how it all fits with the Bible. Should I be adding some qualifications or alternative viewpoints as we go? Are all these books giving our son a false, inaccurate or, worse still, an unbiblical view of history?

A little speculation

The non-fiction books we’ve been reading present with some certainty the ‘facts’ about dinosaurs. They explain how many millions of years ago each dinosaur lived, how they looked and behaved and why they became extinct. (The prevailing theory is that a giant asteroid hit the earth, near Mexico, around 66 million years ago causing what’s called the ‘K–Pg extinction event’). These books also explain how we learn about dinosaurs—by examining the fossils that are being discovered across the world.

I first started to have my doubts about all this when our son brought home a book that listed, for each dinosaur, the actual numbers of skeletons found—and their completeness. In reality, complete skeletons are extremely rare. When it comes to many of the ‘facts’ about dinosaurs, especially the lesser-known types, scientists are making educated guesses based on a small number of mostly partial skeletons. More than half of the known species of dinosaurs in the world have been described from a single specimen.

Earlier this year, my youngest son and I went to a live dinosaur show which told us all about the Australian dinosaur Leaellynasaura. Life-sized puppets acted out in detail how these small dinosaurs lived. But when I looked into it, I found that the only evidence of Leaellynasaura we have is an upper jaw with some teeth in it, a skull roof with large eye sockets and some isolated thigh bones. Much of what was presented as ‘fact’ was based on palaeontologists’ speculation.

When we talk about the ‘science’ of dinosaurs, it’s helpful to understand the difference between experimental science and theoretical science. Experimental science produces observable and repeatable results. By contrast, no-one alive saw these fossils being made. When fossils are discovered in the earth, they need to be interpreted; palaeontologists can only put forward theories, which then get refined as new evidence is unearthed. These interpretations are also based on certain presuppositions about the age and geological history of the earth.

The first thing I have started to change about the way I read dinosaur books to our son is to insert a little bit of uncertainty where I think it is warranted. I add in phrases like ‘scientists believe that …’ or ‘the fossils seem to show’ or ‘this dinosaur probably had …’.

Having said all that, the overwhelming evidence in the fossil record indicates that dinosaurs did exist. Some species, such as Tyrannosaurus Rex, are very well documented. But when did dinosaurs live? And how does that fit with the Bible’s account of creation in Genesis?

Mothers have always worked

By Harriet Connor

On 27/06/2026

In Articles

Should mothers work? That’s the question at the heart of the so-called ‘mummy wars’, which have sought to divide ‘working mums’ from ‘stay-at-home mums’. This article is an excerpt from my chapter of Parenting in God’s Family Volume 2 and offers some reflections that might help us to bridge the divide between ‘work’ and ‘home’ and imagine a more biblical integration of these two spheres of life.

This topic can stir up some very strong emotions. It doesn’t take much to make a mother feel guilty about what she has or hasn’t done for her children (or her career). But it’s important to say at the outset that we are all bound by the particular circumstances we find ourselves in—all we can do is make the most of them. In today’s economy, many mothers have very little choice about when or whether to return to paid employment.

All of us, however we’ve managed to ‘juggle’ raising children with paying the bills, have to entrust our children—and our bills!—into God’s strong and loving hands. No mother is perfect or perfectly present for her children, but all mothers can turn to Jesus who said:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28–29)

What is work?

To begin with it’s important to recognise that in God’s eyes, there is no distinction between paid work and the rest of life. Human beings have a creation mandate: God created us for the ‘work’ of filling, ruling and caring for creation as his image-bearers (Genesis 1:26–28; Genesis 2:15). Christians also have a gospel mandate: we have been re-created for the ‘work’ of loving God, loving our neighbours and sharing the good news about Jesus (Matthew 22:37–39; Matthew 28:19–20).

It’s not wrong to do these things for money—after all, ‘the worker deserves his wages’ (1 Timothy 5:18). But if we do these things as a volunteer—for our own family or church community—it still counts as valuable ‘work’ in God’s eyes.

In the modern economy, ‘real’ work is done for strangers in exchange for money. In economic terms, working in a childcare centre looking after other people’s children is considered ‘work’; but staying home to care for your own child is not. By contrast, in God’s economy, ‘work’ that is done out of love for people we know brings him great glory, because we are living out our God-given purpose—even if it brings us no earthly reward.

Motherhood is not just a ‘job’. It’s not about function but relationship: it binds us to particular people—our own children. Children need their mothers close, especially in the first three years: mothers may be replaceable at work, but not at home. Being present and attentive to our own children and creating a nurturing home for them is the invaluable work of motherhood (for more about this, see my chapter of Parenting in God’s Family Volume 2).

How pre-industrial mothers worked

Our modern economy has separated the spheres of ‘home’ and ‘work’. Home is generally only a place of rest and recreation—where things are consumed rather than produced. This has resulted in the dichotomy that started the ‘mummy wars’: either you ‘go out’ to work or you are a ‘stay-at-home’ mother.

However, this sharp division is fairly recent; before the Industrial Revolution, most homes were also ‘workplaces’. Families ran farms, shops and small businesses from their home bases. They also grew, cooked and preserved food; they sewed, knitted and repaired clothes. Families were not just bound by affection and recreation—they were also economic units: mothers and fathers, sons and daughters all contributed to the family’s ‘work’.

This model allowed mothers (and fathers!) to integrate the various kinds of ‘work’ that human beings were created to do. They could ‘fill the earth’ by giving birth to and raising their own children at the same time as ‘working’ the creation for food and clothing and serving their neighbours through their family business. Men and women still had their distinct areas of focus, but there was much more crossover and collaboration.

Latest podcast conversations

By Harriet Connor

On 20/06/2026

In Recordings

Recently I had a great conversation with Andrew Horsfield (a co-contributor to our latest book) and Cass from the HerTheology podcast. We talked about our parenting fails, finding healthy limits, how our understanding of family, home and work has changed over time, the importance of fathers taking responsibility for discipleship and how mothers can encourage this.

On the Timeless Parenting podcast, we continue to explore God’s wisdom for modern families on all sorts of topics including:

Christ-anchored parenting in a changing world
(this one explores the theological framework behind the new book I edited: Parenting in God’s Family Volume 2)

Thinking Christianly about technology

Contentment when life is tough
(this one was recorded live at the annual Mothers Union Seminar at St Andrew’s Cathedral in Sydney in February)

Family goals and priorities for a new year

Knowing God better through reading the Bible

Extracurriculars: balancing busyness with church and community connections

You can also find our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and other platforms.

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Timeless Parenting is brought to you by Growing Faith, a ministry of Youthworks Media and Mothers Union Sydney.

Christians have two families

By Harriet Connor

On 23/05/2026

In Articles

Over the past 12 months, our little regional church has started growing—one person, one family at a time. One Sunday last year, a woman about my age came along by herself—she and her family had recently arrived in Australia from the Middle East, and she was curious about Christianity. Eventually her husband and children started coming to church too; then her husband’s parents began tagging along, even though they don’t speak any English.

By the time Christmas came around, my new friend wanted to be baptised. By Easter, it was her husband’s turn. And I know that for both of them, the thing that drew them towards Christianity—and ultimately to Christ—was experiencing our Christian community.

Now I have to admit: our church is very ordinary. We’re a motley group of all ages and stages; we’re not particularly good-looking or outwardly successful; we’re not all in ‘happy families’; we’re just plodding through the ups and downs of life together, with our eyes fixed on Jesus. So I asked our new friends why our ordinary little church community had made such an impact on them.

The first word they used was ‘open’: our church welcomed them in, without putting any hurdles in their way. There was no dress code, no shushing of noisy children, no judgement for those who are still working out their faith. My friend’s husband called it ‘love without conditions’. The next thing that stood out was the personal interest and care. When the recent Middle East conflict began to touch their home country, our church drew around them to listen and to pray.

A number of families, including ours, have invited these newcomers over for a meal (and they have more than returned the favour!). As they left our place, the wife was beaming from ear to ear. ‘Thank you. Really, thank you. We had such a feeling of family tonight’, she said.

Another person who joined our church for a time was a young single man whose work had brought him to our area—on the other side of the country from his family. I got to hear this young man’s story of faith one night as we were doing the washing up after a church dinner. He had become a Christian a few years earlier through a Christian housemate. Sadly, the young man’s work contract recently came to an end, and we had to farewell him. On his final Sunday, he thanked us for welcoming him into our community and being ‘a home away from home’.

All of these new people claim to have experienced God’s love through our church community and have used the language of ‘family’ to describe it. Indeed, we speak about the church being a family, because that’s how the New Testament describes it—as ‘the household of God’ (1 Timothy 3:15).

But what does that mean exactly? And how do our natural families fit into this picture? Is our church family a replacement for our natural family? Or is a church simply a gathering of natural families? Or is the church something different altogether?

Someone that I have learnt a lot from on these questions is British theologian Alastair Roberts. Coming up on Wednesday, June 17, Alastair will be in Sydney speaking about how the cross reshapes all of our relationships. This event run is being run by Cross Related (formerly Single Minded).

Boxing Day blues: finding hope when Christmas disappoints

By Harriet Connor

On 26/12/2025

In Articles

It’s been a difficult few weeks in our part of the world, so I’m guessing that for many families, Christmas wasn’t that ‘jolly’ this year. We all still did the normal things—going to church; singing Christmas carols; tipping out Christmas ‘stockings’; distributing presents from under the tree; visiting family; eating lots of food.

But this year, Christmas was probably a little subdued. Our home state—indeed the whole of Australia—is still living in the shadow of the horrific antisemitic terrorist attack that killed 16 people and injured 40 at a Hannukah celebration at Bondi beach less than two weeks ago. I think we all feel heartbroken for our Jewish neighbours—and so sad that our country has let them down.

It’s not just a national tragedy that can take the shine off Christmas. I know many families who had to celebrate with an empty chair at the table this year. Mothers and fathers, wives and husbands who have passed away; spouses who have moved out because of relationship breakdown.

It’s the smaller things too—the kids being disappointed with or ungrateful for their presents, family members snapping and grumbling, extended family conflicts bubbling up to the surface.

All of these things can rob us of the peace and joy that we want to feel at this special time of year.

We spend so long looking forward to Christmas—the shops get us going early with their music announcing: ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year!’; the kids count down the days on the Advent calendar, the excitement builds, they stay up late on Christmas Eve with pure anticipation of the day to come.

And then this: perhaps we had a day that wasn’t particularly wonderful or joyful. It can leave us wondering, ‘Is that it?! Was Christmas really worth the wait?’.

The day after the terrorist attack, many people lit a candle in their window to represent the candles of Hannukah, the ‘festival of lights’. One little flame flickering in a world that felt so very dark. It was a meaningful symbol of solidarity and hope, and yet it seemed so small and feeble.

The first Christmas: Is that it!?

I can imagine that many people were underwhelmed by the first Christmas too. When they looked at the small, feeble baby lying in a feeding trough, those who were there might have been wondering, ‘Is that it?!’.

God’s people had been waiting not just for a month or a year, but for over 50 generations for God’s promised Saviour to arrive. Ever since God had promised that a descendant of Eve would crush the head of the serpent (Genesis 3:15). With each new generation, God’s people wondered, ‘Is this the one who will crush sin and death and make things right?’.

Then finally, he came. Not in a palace with trumpets and fanfare, but in a small-town stable surrounded by his poor, unmarried parents and a bunch of local shepherds. His birth was announced to some people by glorious angels, to others by signs in the stars. But not even King Herod knew about Jesus’ birth until the wise men came knocking some time later.

Baby Jesus was one little flame flickering in a world that was so very dark. How can the birth of one small baby possibly give hope to humanity?

Why I don’t want to teach my children about (just) consent

By Harriet Connor

On 22/11/2025

In Articles

I generally enjoy watching the reality TV show Parental Guidance. It follows different sets of parents as they navigate a series of challenges with their children. Later on, the group evaluates how each family went, with the help of parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson. I’ve found watching the show to be a good way of reflecting on my own parenting.

But one episode of this year’s series left me with an uncomfortable feeling: the episode about consent. Consent seems to be the word that everyone is talking about. In 2024 the federal government launched a nationwide awareness campaign, including a suite of TV ads, called ‘Consent can’t wait’. At school, many of our older children are attending ‘respectful relationships’ seminars where consent is one of the key concepts. Our school leavers are heading off to formals and ‘after parties’, to ‘schoolies’ weeks and beyond.

On the ‘consent’ episode of Parental Guidance each set of parents was given a family discussion question that was meant to start a conversation about consent in various situations (not all of them sexual). It was clear that the overtly Christian or ‘traditional’ parents were extremely uncomfortable talking about sexual relationships with their teen/tween daughters. But the ‘moral’ of the episode was that all parents need to prioritise talking with their children about the topic of consent.

So why did I go away feeling uneasy about this?

I strongly believe that as Christian parents we need to be talking to our children about sex. If we don’t communicate God’s positive vision, our children will pick up a different view of sex from their peers or the internet. In our family, my husband and I have tried to be open and upfront in initiating conversations and answering questions about sex, marriage, relationships, puberty, pornography and so on.

But I have to confess that I’ve never talked with my children about ‘consent’ exactly. And to be honest, I don’t know if I really want to. Here’s why I don’t want to teach my children about (just) consent.

It’s a low bar … but a good start

Consent has become the only moral standard by which our modern society evaluates sexual activity between adults. Did both parties give their consent? If so, it doesn’t matter what happened or who did it.

According to the government’s campaign, ‘Sexual consent is a free, voluntary and informed agreement between people to participate in a sexual act. This agreement is only present when these people mutually and genuinely want to engage in that sexual act, and actively ensure their partner does too’.

Of course, I want my children to expect sexual activity to be mutual and consensual. That’s the Bible’s ideal too. In sex, as in all of life, Christians are people who seek the good of others. Song of Songs is a great example of a loving sexual relationship in which both the man and the woman take pleasure in the other person. The woman repeats, ‘I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine’ (Song of Songs 6:3). This view of sexual mutuality and other-person-centredness is echoed in the New Testament when Paul writes:

‘The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.’ (1 Corinthians 7:3–4)

But the Bible’s view of sexual relationships is about so much more than just consent!

Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Start reading ‘Big Picture Parents’ for FREE

How to navigate Halloween

A gracious approach

Halloween’s Christian(ish) origins

Literacy, books and reading—beyond Book Week

Learning about Christian fatherhood

God’s plans for my kids are better than mine

A prayer that lifted my eyes

How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?

A little speculation

Mothers have always worked

What is work?

How pre-industrial mothers worked

Latest podcast conversations

Christians have two families

Boxing Day blues: finding hope when Christmas disappoints

The first Christmas: Is that it!?

Harriet Connor

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