Harriet Connor

Author of Big Picture Parents

Category: Blog

Good News for Modern Parents

Modern parents like me live in a swirling sea of advice and information. We’re desperately trying to keep up with the 10 Things Every Parent Must Know, the 12 Mistakes New Parents Make, and the 17 Habits of Highly Happy Families. But we end up feeling confused by conflicting advice, guilty about our imperfections, and afraid of damaging our children.

Modern parents are desperate for good news. Sue Palmer, author of Toxic Childhood, writes:

Most parents are frantically doing their best in a world where the goal posts are not just moving—they’ve actually disappeared. . . . In a world of tumultuous change, confidence is thin on the ground. The moral and social certainties [of previous generations] have disintegrated, and there seems to be nothing to put in their place.

About five years ago, those disappearing goal posts were really getting to me. I was craving some unchanging, timeless truths for parenting. So I reached out to the ancient wisdom of my spiritual ancestors. I opened my Bible.

I went looking for little pieces of advice, but the Bible lifted my gaze to see the bigger picture that puts life and parenthood into perspective.

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Should I give ‘Big Picture Parents’ to a friend?

The Equip Women Book Club thinks so!

Big Picture Parents would make a great gift for the different people in your life: someone who’s about to have a baby; someone who’s been coming to your church for a while; someone who is a parent and didn’t grow up in a Christian family themselves; someone from a cultural background where parenting is driven by guilt, fear and shame.”

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‘Big Picture Parents’ Shortlisted


I am excited to announce that my book, Big Picture Parents: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Life, has been shortlisted for the 2017 Australian Christian Book of the Year Award. Winners will be announced on August 17th.

You can see the full shortlist here.

My book offers modern parents the opportunity to step back from all the parenting “shoulds and shouldn’ts” and reflect on the bigger questions of what being a parent is all about.

Read more about the book here.

Three Reasons Not to Blog

I started this website so that you can find out more about my new book, Big Picture Parents: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Life.

But there are few reasons why I am a very reluctant blogger:

1. I am not a parenting guru

I am a normal, human parent. I am often overwhelmed with fear, guilt, and confusion about my role. To my shame, I regularly yell at my kids and snap at my husband. I feel like my life – my house, my marriage, my kids, my heart – is too messy for social media.

But one of my key messages to modern parents is that we need to accept our human limitations – we are not perfect and we are not ultimately in control. All we can ever hope to be is “good enough”. In my book, I show how we can find freedom from the guilt and fear we experience as humans and as parents.

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